Super Bowl Sunday in 2014, will be a day that I will never forget. We were unable to watch the game with friends because it was flu season, and I had just finished 8 (of 16) weeks of the “bad chemo.” My immune system was struggling a bit, but I was so relieved that I had survived the worst part, and was already 5 days out from the first 5 hour infusion of the “easy chemo”. I could already tell that the heavy weight of fatigue that had been a part of my life for the last two months, was loosening it’s grip on my body.
“Just think JW, they said my energy levels will go up, and my hair may even start growing back on this easier chemo”, I said as I took a bite of a jalapeno popper. ” Only 8 more weeks….3 more treatments and I will be DONE!” I was so happy that spring was coming, and that the worst was over….or so I thought.
At first, it felt sort of like a cramp in one leg, but then the pain extended down to that ankle and foot. “Why are you rubbing your leg?” JW asked. “Well, it kind of hurts. I do remember the nurse saying that some people have some extremity pain. It’s not that bad,” I said trying to keep him from worrying. But as the game wore on, the pain started in the other leg, and to a lesser degree in my hands. Soon the pain in my legs and feet became so unbearable, that I went into the other room to call the emergency after hours number for the oncologist. Through quiet tears I explained that I had a very high pain tolerance, but that the pain that I was experiencing was severe. “But this is supposed to be the easy chemo!” I said now openly crying.” I could hear the empathy in the doctor’s voice as he said, “I am so sorry that this is happening to you. It is rare, but unfortunately it can happen. You need to come to the hospital so that we can give you IV morphine. It is the only thing that is going to be strong enough to take this pain away. If you are hurting this bad, you can expect it to last a minimum of 48 hours. Call EMS if you are not able to walk, and have them bring you to REX hospital.”
After confirming that there was nothing that they could do but give me morphine, I decided to see if I could somehow manage at home. For the first time in my life, I was totally broken. Broken physically, devastated emotionally, and I could not stop thinking that there was no way that could endure 8 weeks of this. My plea to God was so basic…so raw, so desperate….”Lord just make this pain bearable! You don’t even have to make it go away, just make it tolerable.”
God heard my plea , and in the wee hours of the morning, with a heating pad on each leg, after talking to Him for hours, it was as if I felt God touch me, and the pain began to ease to a manageable level. The Lord met with me that night in a way that I had never experienced before. Miraculously, I slept. I remember the next morning, JW standing over the bed, afraid to wake me up.
I opened my eyes. “How is your pain”, he asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Better. Still here but much better, I said as I tried to sit up. While untangling the cords from the heating pads, he helped me swing my legs over the edge of the bed. When I put my feet on the floor, I realized that I could not stand to walk. The muscles felt contracted and just standing was too painful. He helped me to the bathroom, and then carried me to the recliner. Both of us had tears in our eyes as he said, “Promise me that you will never let them give you that chemo again.” When our eyes met, he knew that although I said I wouldn’t, that I would probably do it again if they said it was my best chance to beat the cancer that had invaded my body.
As I sat in the recliner, I reached for my Daily Walk Bible. My scripture for the day included the following:
Psalm 18: 32-36
32 It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.
33 He maketh my feet like hinds’ (ie: a deer’s) feet, and setteth me upon my high places.
34 He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms.
35 Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great.
36 Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.
As I read and type these words today, they still have the same profound effect on my as they did seven years ago. This experience was terrible, but the spiritual growth that evolved from this situation, was worth every second of pain that I endured. To know, without a doubt, that the God of the universe knows me personally, hears my prayers, and speaks to me specifically through His Word, is life changing.
As if God had not done enough for me already, He was not finished! There was still the unresolved question: Would I continue this chemo? I was afraid to continue for obvious reasons, but if I chose to stop, would that give the cancer a foothold in my body? As I arrived at the oncology center parking lot, my prayer was simple. “God, give me wisdom. Help me to decide if I should continue with chemo or not”.
As expected, the oncologist explained that although she could attempt to help with the pain by adding more steroids, she could not guarantee that a similar experience would not happen again. “Go home and think about it. You have over a week to decide”. As I hobbled out to my car, feeling even more confused, I noticed there was something on my windshield. A card. How strange I thought, as scanned the parking lot for anyone who may be watching me.
The envelope simply said: For You
As I opened the brightly colored card, these are the words that I read:
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt,
You are amazing! Keep fighting even when you have nothing left. You are the bravest of souls.
–A Friend
It seems surreal as I reflect on this supernatural Super Bowl Sunday every year, but each time I do, I realize just how big my God really is. This woman will never know the impact that she had on my life, and on my faith because she took the time to place a card on a stranger’s vehicle. As you can imagine, I did continue with the chemo regimen, and I NEVER experienced that pain again.
So in case we all need a reminder, EVERY Super Bowl Sunday, I plan to proclaim to all who will listen, that GOD is GOOD. ALL of the TIME!
1 thought on “A Supernatural Super Bowl Sunday”
Wow! What an amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing it! Our suffering makes us grow….the Bible tells us Jesus suffered, why would we be any different? I am truly glad you are past it and can look back at the miracle of God’s Presence instead of the suffering you went through!