A Farmer’s Wife: My View On Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day for those who are not big on flowers and cards can be a let down if you watch TV talk shows, listen to daytime TV, or compare your husband to men who have “regular jobs”. Thankfully I don’t, and thank goodness  my husband and I are both practical realists.  I understand that some people are romantics (and don’t get me wrong romance is a good thing), but my advice is this: if you are truly a romantic, please marry a romantic.  It will make both of your lives so much easier. 

On Valentine’s Day, we may get each other a card (or not), and we typically go out to dinner, (unless we don’t), but this year with COVID, we will definitely be staying at home. But never fear! I am cooking here at the farm  for our Valentine’s dinner  (or supper if you are from the  “country”-dinner = lunch in this neck of the woods). 

The Valentine’s menu is:

• Homemade stuffed jalapeño peppers wrapped in bacon
• A standing rack of rime rib (fancy terms for a bone in roast) with au jus (and horseradish sauce for me)
• Twice baked potatoes
• Tossed salad with bacon, eggs, and cheese with homemade ranch dressing
• Garlic toast
• Hand dipped, chocolate covered strawberries

So as you can see, my “love language” is FOOD. I didn’t buy him a gift this year. I hate to admit that I didn’t even get him a card this year…. but that doesn’t mean I don’t love and appreciate him, contrary to what the “World” tells us. To me, cooking a great meal is a labor of love, and this is how I chose to show him how much I love and appreciate him.

I am not sure if JW got me anything this year or not, but if he did, I hope it’s practical!  Farmers tend be just that….practical. If you are going to marry a farmer, you need to know that shopping is not typically something they like (or have time) to do.  So unless you are happy with gifts from Tractor Supply or the feed store, (my favorites),  you may consider looking for a different partner to spend  the rest of your life with.

So how do I know that my farmer loves me?  Let me count the ways:

• He builds, wires, and runs water to a horse barn (and he doesn’t have a horse)
• He tolerates my dogs (all eight of them)
• We still have my bottle baby bulls (they are now over 2 years old). Please note: they weigh 1000 + pounds and will never produce anything but a feed bill
• We still have my bottle baby lambs (Lottie and Dottie) and they get to live beside the Scale House, not in the pasture….(and Lottie has the run of the entire farm because she won’t stay in).
• I still have my blind ram (actually we PAID the VET to castrate him…..this in itself shows just how much this man loves me)-I mean paying for castration???
• My blind, now castrated ram (technically called a wether) has his own tiny barn behind the Scale House where he can come and go as he pleases…..
• I still have a pet billy goat (Harley), even though we sold all of the female goats….and he is sort of destructive (but he has a lot of personality!)
• He took a day away from the farm, drove 45 minutes (with his equipment) and loaded my little cabin (even though the “professionals” said it could not be done)
• He built 2 goat/sheep barns (and he doesn’t have any goats or sheep)
• He buys hay for horses, goats, and sheep, (and again, he doesn’t have any horses, goats, or sheep).

These are just a few things that my husband does because he loves me, so if I get a card great, if I don’t, who really cares? (Hint: I don’t). 

My advice to everyone is, don’t let a commercial holiday determine if your spouse loves you or not.  If you need a card to validate your relationship, you may want to seek professional help. Everyone’s situation is different.  People are different. Farmers are a different breed for sure. Do you research before tying the knot. 

If I may take the liberty of using one of my dog analogies….

If you are looking for a show dog, find a show breed.  If you are looking for a working breed, marry a farmer!